AN ELEVENTH PROVINCE

 

THE CONTRARIAN

A page from Willy Brant’s Diary–   Have you ever had one of those nights where your brain keeps wandering from subject to subject, and you wonder when you will sleep? That was me last night.  I thought about the debate over ‘Canadian Values’, and how nobody seems to know what those might be, though most of us older folks think of equality, and freedom, and church, and family. From that my mind wandered to our $5 billion International Aid budget.  Some of it might do some good, but a lot ends up in Swiss Bank accounts, and most goes to regimes which I seriously doubt share our ‘Canadian Values’.

Then the brain went on to how it seems half our community is wandering off south for the winter, taking their Canadian Pensions with them. That made me think of Haiti.  Didn’t get there in my navy days, as it was an unfriendly dictatorship, but I know where it is.  Nice island, nice people, but decades of corrupt governments drove it down into the dirt.  Then an earthquake 5 years ago devastated the place and a lot of the people still do not have a place to lay their head or enough to eat.  Not to mention it touched off a cholera epidemic.  Now they are hit by a hurricane, the suffering must be immense.

Then it hit me. Put all those together, and we come up with a solution to so many problems.  Instead of randomly dumping aid money overseas, let’s invite Haiti to become our 11th province, and put in the whole $5 billion per year – they need it worse than where it goes now.  No doubt floods of us will go there in winter, keeping our Canadian pensions in Canada.  No doubt we will invest tons of money in resorts and hotels, condo’s and golf courses, not to mention hospitals and schools, which will bring our economy back to life.  No doubt floods of Haitians will move up here for the opportunities we have to offer.  Everybody wins!

Dumped all this thinking on big Joe this morning. He gave me a surprised look, and then said “You might be on to something.  There was a proposal about 30 years ago that the Turk and Caicos islands might be better off as part of Canada than as a British province pretty much ignored by Britain.  Now some politician has resurrected that idea.  They are in the same part of the world as Haiti.”

He went and stoked up the wood stove, a bit of a chill in the morning these days, then went on “I wrote to Mulroney, saying go for it, I would be an investor and resident if it were Canadian. I got a response from some kind of flunky in Mulroney’s office saying we could only look at that if we were asked to by the people. This was a silly copout, save them actually having to make a real decision.  Typical government”.

He dug around in his cupboard and came up with his old perk coffee-pot, and charged it up and put it on the stove. Then he added “But, you know, our new youngster seems to have the courage to make big decisions, maybe he would run with something like that. Don’t forget that folks in Haiti speak French, so it would be politically correct, as they say.  Of course Haiti is much bigger than Turk and Caicos or most of our Provinces, so it might have to be some kind of International Alliance or something.  And now that the Americans have allowed the Philippines to be swallowed by China, maybe they wouldn’t put a stop to such an expansionist idea from Canada.  By golly I think you are on to something.”

Nice to be appreciated.

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