I love conspiracy theories.  I don’t necessarily believe them, I just find them fascinating.  My favourite fiction author is Taylor Caldwell, who wrote fictional stories based on history, most famous probably being ‘Dear and Glorious Physician’, based on the life of Saint Paul.  Even her earliest works show a belief that a small group of rich and powerful people pretty much control the world’s big events, including wars and depressions, in their own interest.  In her later novels her conspiracy theory bias showed through strongly enough that she fell into disfavour with the intelligentsia.  But I still like her, partly because I like conspiracy theories.

So here is my conspiracy theory.  If I am right, I suppose the Men in Black will appear at my door within a few days after you read this.  If there are no more Contrarian columns, you will know that they got me.

Step one (when North American Water and Power Alliance idea was new):  Men in Black talking to Prime Minister Diefenbaker – “if you will protect the NAWAPA/Grand Canal rivers area in northern Ontario, and cancel your Avro Arrow which is so good it is embarrassing us, we will enter into an ‘Autopact’ which will guarantee Canada gets more than its share of auto manufacturing. Oh, and by the way, forget all about the ‘Mid-Canada corridor’”.

Step two (1960’s, northern survey work for Grand Canal scheme going on):  Men in Black, talking to Ontario and Canada:  “Look folks, these Dam the Dams guys are making too much waves, you need to defang them, deny, deny, deny.  Make sure no media reports any of their information.  We do not want any publicity while our army is working up there.”

Step three (l1969) Men in Black, to prime Minister Trudeau:, “Listen up, turkey, if you want to keep your auto industry, shut that clown Rohmer and his Mid Canada development idea down as soon as you can.  The consequences otherwise could be dire.”

Step four (1970’s, Reed Ear Falls mill/northern forestry project):  Men in Black use propaganda tactics and the mercury scare to totally destroy Reed, reducing it to a quivering blob from a dynamic firm encompassing some 45 corporations manufacturing all kinds of stuff all over North America.  Ear Falls project dies, and northern forest is declared off limits to anybody.  Reed International (world-wide company) dies a slow death as a result.

Step five (1990’s, ongoing) Men in Black keep the pressure on the province.  New Provincial Policy declares there will be no new communities in northern Ontario, case closed.  Far north is declared a ‘preserve’.

Step six (2008 economic depression) Men in Black, talking to Ontario/Canada:  “OK, guys, here is the deal.  We will allow you to keep your automobile industry even in this depression.  In return, you must depopulate northern Ontario; destroy their economy; stop building infrastructure, and shut down northern industry any way you can.  Ridiculous power rates and absurd levels of regulation ought to do the trick. “

Step seven (soon)  Canada and the US proudly announce a new NAPAWA pact, under which the Americans get Northern Ontario’s water, Toronto gets lots of American money, and we in the north are screwed.

Hey, folks, this is not the national news.  Previous columns on this subject were based on real events, but this one is just speculation from a broken-down old columnist.  No need for panic in the streets, although I have been watching the sky for black helicopter

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